my life is not real. but it is incredible.

http://yinzerspielen.wordpress.com

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09035/946714-298.stm

Chuck Ardo, a spokesman for the governor, said Mr. Rendell does not dispute the program's value but said the recession and resulting state deficit are pitting many such worthy programs against vital human services.

"There are programs, no matter how dear to the heart of the governor, that just can't be rationalized in this economy," Mr. Ardo said. "Clearly our budget priorities need to fall on the side of necessary human services."

Saying it's unlikely that another source of funding will be found, Mr. Ardo said the program is dead at least for now. He said the governor would like to see it reinstated once the economy improves.

necessary human services?

what are necessary human services?

in 10 years, in 20 years, who is going to be in charge of providing those necessary human services?

over and over our government tries to make the point that educating excellent students is a low priority, that high academic achievement is not something to be rewarded except grudgingly and when everything else is going well. excuse me, mr. rendell, but govies are your future doctors and lawyers, your nobel prize-winning scientists and economists, your artists whose work touches the souls and lives of millions, your computer technicians and programmers, your political leaders, your teachers.

but maybe i should leave that last off the list. what good, after all, is education? pretty worthless endeavor, i guess.

There was once a hog theater where hogs performed
as men, had men been hogs.

One hog said, I will be a hog in a field which has
found a mouse which is being eaten by the same hog
which is in the field and which has found the mouse,
which I am performing as my contribution to the
performer's art.

Oh let's just be hogs, cried an old hog.

And so the hogs streamed out of the theater crying,
only hogs, only

hogs . . .

--Russell Edson

pittsburgh has never seemed more distant than when i am looking at my german friend's first photographs of the city, seeing my home through her new and foreign eyes.

hillman,
stephen coleman,
foam mattress pads,
seasons,
MONGOLIA.
hoodies,
(soviet) champagne, tequila, even vodka, 21sts,
what's he building in there?,
my mama and her knitting,
my boston thanksgiving hat,
phone calls,
yarsky,
summertime (for once),
macbooks!,
sisters,
the smartypants scholarship,
brenden,
not eureka and eight times,
patrick. and uhc arranged marriages.
my daughter suzie,
my faraway love sarah,
and nicole, and amanda,
and every now and then coffee or lunch with alex.
the apartment on the boulevard,
the truth roof,
b-boy, the chinese students, the trans-sib, the gobi,
deep dark secret, baikal, yaks/naks, bouncy dance floors,
the university of pittsburgh,
half-price, dollar drafts, the italian grocer, antoon's,
redeye theatre project,
the wishing well project.
kathy george.
lauren and her boundless energy,
parag and his boundless perfectionism,
mary and her bikes and brains and boobs,
pamela's breakfast 8:45 mondays,
family snickers night,
quantum mechanics,
katie geise,
gers,
even amy eckhardt,
bphils,
coffee, 7-11,
the unbearable lightness of being,
orgasms,
self-respect,
endings.
beginnings --
scrabble,
andrew,
and love that is real for the both of us --

i'm thankful for it.

on sunday, i found a gun in the women's bathroom in the cathedral. that's fucked.

even more fucked is the half-hour it took campus police to get there.

theatrewise, i am directing two things at this very moment, the sheep game's getting a staged reading soon, and i am in a show for pptco's b&w festival. i'm swamped. and this isn't even counting school. or social butterflying.

and my throat hurts, yuck.

and parag, mary and i have just decided that boys are clearly bigger gossips than girls, so why gossiping ever got attributed to women in the first place is a mystery.

since i haven't done it since september...

the meme
post an anonymous comment on this entry. (i've turned off ip logging, so even if i wanted to find out who you were, i couldn't.) say something you've been wanting to get off your chest. you can comment more than once, if you want. post anything you'd like: a story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything! but remember to post it anonymously. OR you can post it with your username, and we'll keep it private between you and me. comments are screened. nobody but me will be able to see them initially; i'll make anonymous comments public, and user-specific comments will be kept private (unless otherwise noted). if you comment anonymously, i won't ask you who you are. i might choose to reply to some comments...i might not.

since i won't be back until thursday, don't expect to see any anonymous comments made public til then.

well, then. off to brack retreat land.